I know as I grow old. I do have more confidence. I know when I was younger I had no confidence and I could not forgive those that hurt me. My self esteem was none existent. I guess when you are young we are so immature.
As I am older I think of the things that has given me the feelings of being the person I was meant to be. I wasn't the best at being a mom. I made terrible choices when I was young. But I have confidence that I was able to support my children and keep food, clothing, and shelter for us. I wasn't able to be home and be the 50's mom I would have love to be. But at the time I did not have the learning or ability to be the perfect little mom. But I was able to do excellent with the abilities I had. And even though we were poor, I made sure we did fun things. like camping, going rollerskating, doing ceramics. We would go out to eat and spend quality time when I wasn't working.
One of the greatest things I think I did well was, being with my grandchildren when they were smaller. Being the best coolest grandma I could be. They gave me so much joy I think I have never loved or enjoyed life more than being a grandma. We baked and cooked together, watched movies, played together. I was like a little kid along with them. We all slept together in the same bed laughing and telling jokes. Now they are big the closeness is not there so much. But they gave me so much joy at just being the small innocent children that gave such pure love. Being loved by a child is so awesome and they make you a better person just by being.
I also do well with old folks. Listening, helping and just spending time with them. When my husband's dad was in nursing home I would go on days when my husband worked and fed my father-in-law and took him outside for air, and also with other people, taking them to doctor appointments or to the grocery store, maybe out to lunch or a movie, just spending time with them. When you get older the younger people in our lives just don't have time for you anymore. So I have enjoyed spending time with lonely older people. I learned allot from these people and they helped me to be a better person.
So there has been times when I was the best that I could be. Living fully with love and joy in my life.
The other best thing is my working. I was a lowly waitress but I was the best at that I could be. I loved being around people and I tried to make each of my customers feel like they were special.
I know God has a plan for us. And he wants us to be the best we can so so. Just open your heart and listen. And you will be the person you want to be.
Comments welcome. So tell me. How are you being the best you can be.
1 comment:
The best way for us to be who we want to be is to always be true to ourselves. Not the way we have always been so every moment is a new learning experience.
It seems you have been going through some insightfulness lately. It's always a great time in your life when you begin to ask those questions that you had always been afraid to ask. Good luck in your inner search, you are exactly who and where you need to be in this moment.
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